Today is a double blog day. One of those days where things add up. To me I’m about sick of people in the “church” and their attitude toward me, be it from family or otherwise. I’m sick of acusing comments ment to stab and hurt and twist you into submission. I’m sick of the unending emotional debate that comes with any aspect of theology and the word. Not only is it emotionaly but it seems people can’t communicate calmly within the church.
I’m tired of pastor’s trying to manipulate my life and my beliefs and calling me a sinner when I take their words and sermons to prayer and study of the scripture itself. I’m sick of people telling me I will burn in hell because I don’t go to this or that church. And why do I not, because I don’t want to hear how they say Christianity is about getting rich, staying healthy and having no problems and if you do, your a sinner and need help.
I’m sick of walking into a church and being judged for my appearence because I have long hair, a tatto or don’t wear a smile as well as others. I’m sick of having to pretend I’m something else in church service to get someone to say 2 words to me.
I am not will not change who I am for anyone any longer. There are days where I wish my wife and I could just leave behind all past relationships and start new somewhere else. It seems that the “church” is the most hurtful group I know. Many people inside and outside a relationship with God that I know same the same. They’ve been hurt to much by a pastor who’s tried to control them, or a church member showing them contempt. A family member always saying and badger things to them and continually pushing them away because they can never measure up to so and so who is “so godly”.
Bah humbug I say. Somedays it just gets to me. The only army that shoots its own wounded.