So yesterday I went under the knife for my muscle biopsy. All and all not too an unpleasant experience. There were a few times that the local wore off and I felt the knife’s cut but it was short and they were quick to fix that.
I find myself more anxious now at the future and what the tests come out as. Will the diagnosis be confirmed? What if it isn’t confirmed? How will I continue? I have around $800 in bills due in 1 day and absolutely no way to pay them. I am nervous and scared and found myself wondering again what the point was. My wife and I were not going to put up a Christmas tree even this year. There was no point in our eyes. We’ve not the money to celebrate or even purchase food. There didn’t feel like anything to be celebrating. And in the end we did. We felt like in part this was crucial in our walk with God. To trust him and celebrate Him and what he has given us. I’m taken back again to a few scriptures.
“9 Let the lowly brother glory in his exaltation, 10 but the rich in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away.”
The Holy Bible, New King James Version
James 1: 9-10
This to me something God is taking home. We are low in worth in this world right now. We have nothing to hope in save God alone to save us. there is no way I can work and no money coming in at all. Yet we are still here praising God. During my surgery for the biopsy I found myself doing this verbally many times, even in the drunken stupor their drugs put me in. I was awake as they elected not to put me under for it. I found myself thanking and praising God. It was quite a nice time with the Big Guy actually.
I also keep coming back to Mathew 6: 25-34. I feel like God is setting a promise to me. To keep going and he will take care of the rest. I trust Him. And everything I feel the devil has done to me in the past year to break my faith. All the times I was so close to giving up and giving in once and for all. I haven’t, and my faith is all the more stronger for it. I cannot give up, I won’t and never will I again. I can endure this. I will stand the test with the Armor of God. The first part of this armor of God passage truly speaks to me now. When you’ve done all you can do to stand, stand firm. Here’s some Stand firm scriptures to take a look at.
The Holy Bible, New King James Version
13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints
58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58
1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. 2Indeed I, Paul, say to you that if you become circumcised, Christ will profit you nothing.
When you are at your wit’s end, stand firm. When your out of your own ability and the world is coming in for the killing blow, stand firm. When there is nothing left of you, stand firm. How? God. It is so simple, yet its more complex then anything else.
I’ve seen so many Christians with so much, so many friends that have more then they know. They have great things in their life, great blessings and it is not enough. There is greed in their hearts for more. Desires unchecked for things that lead away from God. And I can admit I’ve been there a few times myself. But many are continually driven to run from God. They seek out sin as it were sustaining their life and then strike out at God asking why are they so empty and devoid of God and His presence. Not willing to turn from there miss steps they continue on their paths. It saddens me.
However I now can say when everything is taken from you, and you don’t know where your next meal will come from, and you’ve no ability to sustain yourself. This is the best, and most blessed spot to be. I am now truly rich in God, in faith, in being content and full of Joy. I am honored that God chose and allowed me to go through this time of trial and struggle. It has changed me in a way so profound that I will never be the same. But isn’t that what happens when God reaches down from heave to touch man?
In this great time of celebration and joy during this holiday season, be blessed! Merry Christmas.