I’ve had many people ask me over the years why I’ve got such a focus being a bondservant. They are confused by the concept, not seeing it as a real thing. I can only offer explanation from my own heart. I grew up in a small church in Michigan. It was a decent church and fairly typical as far as small American churches go. Every Sunday I would see the typical Sunday best, elders deacons making their rounds but they didn’t seem to really want to be there. Christianity was a set of rules to follow and beliefs to recite. Then there was this gentle old man named Fred. Had a pocket full of bubble gum and hugs always ready to give out. When someone was in need in the church, there Fred was stepping in to help anonymously, we all had a good idea it was him. He loved life and people and kids. Always treated us well when others were yelling at us to not run, not play, not slouch in the pew. Fred had only love. Love, such a powerful thing. People like this have always fascinated me. Then one day someone told me the Story of Abraham’s bondservant. How a man would willingly give up his freedom to do the will of another, it confused me. This started my long walk down the road of bondservant study, which has been a passion of mine since I was young.
See in today’s church, in ministry, many want to be that man standing in front of a crowd of people preaching and dictating beliefs that people should follow. Many want miracles and signs and wonders. When I was younger and dreamed of ministry I wanted all that. I want to be a powerful man of God, effecting peoples lives in droves. As I grew older and studied Gods word more, I came to a startling realization, God is love. To ask others what God’s defining characteristic you may hear things like power, justice, mercy, Majesty, or glory. To be truthful, God is love. Bible says it, I believe it. It’s love that drove Him to send His son to us. It’s love that kept Jesus on the cross, not the nails. It’s love that powered Him to go through all that and rise from the dead that our sins may be forgiven. So powerful.
I’ve been through so many things in my life. Trials, beatings, in need in every way, and content in all things. I’ve been through more then I could care to type here or anywhere. And with this disease that has stricken me so I ask myself who am I, what good have I done? It’s hard to be in this place, disregarded by those I had called my brothers, forgotten by my church in part because of the disease. But I wouldn’t give it up. What I’ve been through has taught me something so great, given me a perspective so rich that all the gold in the world wouldn’t pry the lessons I’ve learned from my hands. That lesson is the power of love. Now in these days I don’t strive to feel the power of God, to preach to the masses or heal the sick. I strive to be the gentle soul with a pocket full of Bubble gum, a smile, hug, and heart full of love.