God is Love
I’ve took a bit of a break since my father died. Examining things and how I can interact better with my life. I’ve taken some time to observe people and how they react to life and situations. It just amazes me that so many are so caught up in themselves. Today people are more likely to ignore someone in need then help them. Even if that help was a few kind words.
What’s most shocking to me is this happens in so many Christians as well. When I think of this am reminded of the 2nd chapter of James, specifically verses 14-18.
14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
James 2:14-18
Some people have had real problems with this scripture of the years. Some say it is in stark contrast to other scriptures that state salvation comes by faith not works lest anyone should boast. But in truth the scripture says that if you have real meaningful faith, these things will follow. When God has taken up residence in your heart you can’t help but to overflow with these things.
God first and foremost is a god of love. It was love that sent Jesus to earth. It was love that submitted to the cross for our sins, it was love that drove every aspect of Jesus’ ministry on earth. It flowed out of every part of his being. And why? Because he put his Heavenly Father above all else. He spent so much time in the scriptures and in the presence of God in prayer that the nature of God sustained him and flowed from him.
My Grandfather past away late last year. My grandfather was my hero. He was such a man of God and just having him apart of my life helped me through some of my hardest times, even when he didn’t speak a word to me. He touched so many peoples lives and listening to people speak at his funeral was very touching and confirmed the same thing I’ve felt in my life. He was a man of God and prayer. He spent time in the scriptures and in prayer like no one I’ve known. And the presence and love of God surrounded him.
2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, 3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, 4 by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
This is why I think my grandfather had this presence. God has given us all we need in His word. By study and putting that study to work in our own lives. His Word to us is more then inspirational, it’s His promises to us. By partaking, or putting it to work in our own lives through study and prayer, we become partakers of God’s divine nature. He rubs off on us just as a close friend or loved one does. We pick up some of their traits. And that overflow of love beings. God is love. He has always been and always will be a God of love. Our walks should be as his was.
He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.
Rest in Peace Dad
My father, Gary Roettger, passed away on Tuesday, April 14th in the evening. He was ready to meet his Heavenly father. He ran the race of life in such a way as to win the prize which I’m sure he’s now received. In His time working on staff at MSU, he touched many lives both students and faculty. He was much loved by all who knew him. The latter years of his life were tuff and painful as disease took its toll on his mind and body. Now, he’s at peace.
I loved my father and decided to share some moments that were my favorite with him. When I was 19 or 20, we took a motorcycle trip across country together. We could still laugh at the times we took refuge from rain underneath an overpass, and how completely soaked we were. And how after the rain let up a bit we went to Deny’s for a late meal after a long drive in wet cloths. The front half of our cloths and shoes were soaked. The back half dry. We received some looks but it was quite funny to me, in a way that everything seems so funny. I remember how we finally found a hotel room early in the am after repeated attempts to sleep at rest areas due to full hotel rooms. We slept only for a few hours but to this day, it was the most comfortable bed I’ve ever been in, and my dad agreed.
I remember sitting with my dad and grandfather as we listened to my grandfather’s World War 2 experiences. I remember how taken back we both were at what Grandpa went through. And the new found respect we both had for him for his strength and dedication to God. My grandfather was always a large figure in my life, a large influence and my father shared this.
I remember the long talks we would have as we shared experiences of this disease we both seemed to have shared. I remember how he helped me feel like I wasn’t alone. We would talk about the small things we go through from the confusion, to the problems thinking, to how hard it was to walk. He would listen even though he was in a great deal of pain. He would do his best to calm me when I was upset knowing how it would effect me if I couldn’t find some peace. I remember how much his eyes lit up when he saw his grand kids. I remember how much he seemed to love his family even when showing it was painful. And I remember how much he loved God. My father and grandfather are now both in heaven. Both are at peace and have freedom from the pain.
Rest in peace dad.
Gary Charles Roettger
May 18, 1950 – April 13, 2010
Forgett the past, Press on
I’ve long held to the desire to walk as a bondservant. That word has significant meaning to me, it always has. I see the walk of a bondservant to be of the utmost importance to a close relationship with God. Giving up our will to completely embrace the will of God, even when it seems unpleasant. To let go of driving my life and let God can complete the work He started in us. So He can use us to show His love to the people who cannot otherwise hear His voice because they are lost in their own sins and situations.
The term bondservant is something that has different meaning to all who choose to walk that path. And it is something that is ever growing and changing as God brings you through things. I won’t lie the past few months have been a very tough trip for me. Depression has been a constant adversary. I’ve been mourning all that I’ve lost. The abilities I had to do things, such as walk without pain. I was mourning my taking them for granted.
But as I finally sat down to place God’s word above myself and seek Him in it, He showed me something in a scripture that has long been a favorite of mine. He opened my eyes to something new, and thus confirming that He hasn’t left me. That I’m not to far from him to hear His voice. That He is indeed teaching me even now. Being locked up alone in your home has some adverse effects on you for long periods.
Let me share it with you friends.
12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
15Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.Philippians 3:12-15 (NKJV)
Forgetting those things that are Behind. That is very potent if you dwell on that for a minute. Forgetting past failures, success, problems, situations. Forgetting the things that you lost. Forgetting what you cannot do any longer, forgetting all the things you should have done or could have. Forgetting past sins, repent first obviously, but move on after. All that matter is the prize. All that matters is God, and His love for you and for those you are surrounded by. Forgetting that you should have walked more when you could, forgetting how you should have related to others, forgetting how you missed things that you could have done, for yourself or for God. Press on for the Mark. Press on my friends. Push forward, embrace the love of God. Embrace the fact the he loves you and that he died for you because he loves you so much. Embrace that, and live for Him.
For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
Colossians 3:3 (NKJV)
And once you have done this, press on. And to keep the focus follow this great advice.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Philippians 4:8 (NKJV)
Sickness Does Not Equal a Deficient Human
It is not secret that I have some major health problems. Anyone who sees me even attempt to walk across a crowed room can tell. Talk to me on a phone for to long and you’ll hear it. It has a tangible affect on most people, especially those you may have called friends.
Long talks turn into short greetings. Good times turn into palatable awkward segments of time. And to some degree respect turns to pity. Some freeze up and won’t even chat through email. Others make attempts that are fleeting and far in-between. Even those close to you stop looking at you and remembering what you can do, they look and see only that you can’t. In talking with some that have similar problems as me, I’ve heard the same stories repeated.
Church going people can sometimes be the worst. Somehow on some level its your fault your sick. You lack faith, you sinned, or some other factor unseen caused your problems. It can leave to a solitary walk. A walk down a path of life that others views are forever altered by what they see and think. There lack of comfort drives them from sanity. They forget your human. Not only that you are human, but that you are exactly the same person you were before you got sick.
I think its one of the most inhumane things to do to someone. I cannot walk far on my feet, my legs falter and tire quickly. I cannot always speak with clarity, my mind lacks memory and focus many days. The pain clouds my thinking and it becomes hard to do even simplest of tasks. Things people take for granted are things I long to be able to do, and are things that require serious consideration before trying.
But in all this, I am still me. Through the pain and discomfort, through the weary legs that can barely take me across the room, my faith is still strong. In the midst of the cloudy thoughts and confusion my love for God still stands as strong as it ever has. And my desire to live life to the fullest of my ability still is strong.
Next time you see someone with an illness or disability, try thinking of them as just human. No more, no less.
Learning what it is to live again.
So having health problems that limit your ability to do everything from walk to read really proposes some interesting quandaries. Learning my limitations has been a painful process of going to far and making note where that is, rinse and repeat. There is also a unique psychological element involved as well.
Having to come to terms with a disability that changes my lifestyle at the age of 34 is difficult. I still feel the rest of my life is before me except now I am not sure what I can do with it. I have the desire to work and be normal as I was once, but I know that cannot come easily if ever. It will take time and the progression of this disease must halt or slow at the very least first.
I left the house the other day to perform some much needed tasks outside that I had put off for months. Bills, replacing things, stuff that people take for granted. The trip was very enlightening because in the end I pushed myself way to far and spent the next 2 days paying for it. Though seeing the light of day for the first time in months, and being outside for the first time in months as well was so nice. The simple joy of feeling sun on your face and breathing fresh air is something many people take for granted.
After this trip I’ve found myself hating being stuck in my home again. Its hard to get out of my sub basement apartment. The stairs are few but they take much out of me. Just to have an apartment with a porch to sit on outside would do so many wonders for me. I long for something as that. To be able to sit outside and just take in the beauty of simply being outside. Simply feeling the sun on your face and the wind flowing through your hair carrying on it the scent of freedom.
One thing I’ve struggled with now is knowing how to think of myself. Am I disabled, am I less then human? Am I allowed to enjoy life or somehow because I have this disease am I supposed to be locked up in my home away from people? I can’t work like I used to pride myself on, supporting my family, paying my debts, not needed others help. This in itself produces a conflict within myself that tells me somehow I’m less then human and must pity myself. Though Who I am hasn’t changed. I am Tim, the Same Tim I’ve been for years, but do others see me as that? Or am I just a disability to them now. Has this disease changed the way people see me? I desire no special concern in this from anyone. I’m the same person but more and more I see pity in the eyes of those who know me. Not that I want it or even deserve it.
